Fools Die

you will come to a point when you see someone with that skeptical looks and you doubt of how far they can go...never should it be a thought if its heart is what you wish to hold...there has always been rumours and lies of whom you consider fools and whom you think not...how you think makes up the judgement...how fool is a fool and how smart are you to judge?...you see its life as perforated waiting to be torn apart and yet none is my effort to keep it intact...and who is it to die when you don't see their soul, lest that you assume to make feelings less agitated to you...and how or which is death? the end of breath or shall I say the end of time? what is death to you when you know its sizzling on your neck or even closer? better shut the cave with the pink of lips and the white of teeth made curved by the transparency of your humility...Allah, I kneel only to You, and I place my face to the ground to worship You, not to ever resent and in my humbleness and loneliness that for You, I live this life...Allah, keep me in Your light and give me the strength when I'm under the shed of ignorance...pull me out of these complaints and make me accept Your trials with open arms and open heart so that I may be Your servant that walk by Your permission...make my vicissitude from the reign of the dark angels to Your light a blessed journey and one way route, as if the orifice is guarded by the angels of hell, never to let any walk back to heaven, unless You wish so...

ولما برزوا لجلوت وجنو ده قا ل ربنآ أفرغ علينا صبرا وثبت أقدا منا وانصرنا على لقوم الكفرين

250. Tatkala Jalut dan tentaranya telah nampak oleh mereka, merekapun (Thalut dan tentaranya) berdoa: "Ya Tuhan kami, tuangkanlah kesabaran atas diri kami, dan kukuhkanlah pendirian kami dan tolonglah kami terhadap orang-orang kafir."

Meridian 2009

Finally I'm through with my exams. Alhamdulillah, everything seemed to be well. InsyaAllah, everything would be all right. This is now the time for people to buzz off to Malaysia; home sweet home(Well, maybe a bit sour there). It's fun watching your friends packing up and knowing that soon, I'll pack too. =). Had a football game this evening. Wonderful day and weather to finish my exams and to play football. Surely a blessing from Allah for His servants. May Allah forgives us all.

As usual, found some thoughts that I reckon would be worth to share about with all you readers{Thanks to the >920 repeating visitors for the past few months ;)}.This one is a bit sensitive, but in a way I think it makes people start to realize; I hope. Actually I've been thinking about this for quite some time, after a discussion with my 'friends'. Horribly interesting. I really think this issue is "one big issue" for me to write about, but just to pinch your mind for a moment so we'll start thinking and working for it. This one's called "A House Too Beautiful"(Nice, haa?!).

A typical house, if you wish to visualize it from that seat. Plain, nothing special. The wall is white, the windows are shut, the door is empty, the grass has been trimmed and pebbles spread across the yard. Calm yet intriguing after a while gazing at it. All the houses around are so packed with the waves of lights and sounds made by the magic box that we call 'television' while this house doesn't. Only after a while could you hear some rumblings and tiny voices of little kids playing and the father's voice would echo behind the window. The car parked in front is just the car that an automotive cognoscenti would skip the watch. For quite sometime you might want to peek what's inside but you can't cause you're actually just passing by after a stroll to the shop to get some flour for your mom. Guess what, I'll tell you bits and pieces about what's in there.
Let me humour you.

The father is young, around 23 of age. Not anyone as simple as it might come to your thoughts. Not someone who cares too much about how he dresses nor what name he's on with. Everything would be okay as long as its nice and decent. Not just to you, but to Allah as well. He would be in front of his desk right now, writing some notes from a book he's reading. At times, he would gaze at his children and his wife. As soft as a feather the eyes would send a message saying "I'm happy to have all of you here."

The mother is as young as the father. Maybe younger, but it never came to my concern to get it as precise as you wish. As much as the father likes, she is as simple as he is. well maybe a bit complicated, in my point of view. Women are never simple. Remember that they are bent and stiff? And that you need to be smart to get them straight and not break? Or do you not? She's
reading as well but not making any notes cause the right hand is on her daughter's head who's sleeping on her lap. Her two boys are running around playing hero and villain, but as decent as the atmosphere of the house is would they behave.

The two boys now. The other is older than another. One is fat and lumpy, the other is about to be. Well maybe not that big. Still they are cute and clean. They are such the kids you wouldn't want to be climbing behind your back and run around the dining hall. The little girl is the one you would love to carry in your hands. Quiet and warm, smiles and cries are what off her.

Not to forget about what's in the house. Read this slowly and visiualize it in your head; Nothing extravagant but well equipped. BOO!!(a short one)

Splendid family aren't they? But one thing that is different about them, they are made up of those who whisper, "Allah, ar-Rasul, al-Quran, jihad fi sabilillah, syahid fi sabilillah" at times of hardship or not. They probably are the parents that you read about in books of great men and women. Parents that are made up of people such like you, perhaps. A father and mother that knows their goals and they have the way to reach those goals. Is that you? Or will you be as such? I wonder...

Well, here's what I think what they are made off.

The Father: like what you think...How are you thinking about him?
The Mother: Maybe like what the 'her' might be thinking.

Interesting, aight?

To get your head running about this family, think of it like this;

-You're the father and you're reading like he is. What book would you be reading at the moment? Then what book next?
-You're jotting down some notes, what notes would you likely make?
-You have three kids, what sort of people would you wan't them to be? Which school would you send them to? Or most importantly, what life would you want them to go through?
-You have a car, what car would you mind having?(I said 'mind having' not 'like having')
-You owe that house, how big a house would you want it to be? What is it you want to that house to be filled with? What atmosphere would you like to wander around the house?
-You're employed, where might you work then?
-Now, you have that wife, ...what's your choice? You good for her? She fits you well?
-Wait, she came with her parents. How would you deal with them? Any ideas?
-Guess what, she has brothers and sisters too. Lucky enough, she might have a coaster of them! You can handle them, right?
-Now, she's emplyoed as well. Mind tolerating with her work demands? Or, "Please stop working and take care of the family"?
-You have got brothers and sisters too, is she getting well with them? Can you think of a way to make it happen? Or should you just separate her from your 'life'?
-What about the grandma and grandpa? You can't leave them behind!!!
-You've got a good paying job remember? Where would it go?

Now for all the women reading this, change the father to mother, he to she, wife to husband and all other masculines to feminines(is this right? i mean my english).

Thinking about this is interesting, but getting there is hard. It is never too early to be thinking about this. At least it gives you more time to get ready for the next 'step'. No joke, you're twenty something(or at least 19). Grow up! And don't take this as something just 'interesting' coz I really would want you to think of it like a father/mother(and me as well).

Done for this one. Or else you would start quizzing me. Those going home, careful with what you have, take care of yourself, your family. Think as if you're the mother/father(i'm trying to be fair here, father first then mother for the precedence), maybe that'll help you become a better 'teacher' soon.

Off to homeland soon. Maybe no more updates by 3rd. Until the next bell tolls.

things are not yours to decide

maybe the one who put you in the cup alone,
maybe someone who left you in the field alone,
or maybe someone who let you walk yourself
in the street,
would be the first to say hello and gave itself to you,
to be the best of people around you.

talk...

it's better to tell than to keep,
it's better to cry than to be angry,
it's always better to express than to save for yourself.

sometimes, they don't seem to be true, but when it comes to an uncontrolled emotional problems, i believe they are the best things to do. Better spill the water bit by bit than to keep all and burst like the chernobyl did. it is hard to tell someone about how you feel, but its worth the ego-drop-down. it may seem to be such like an emotional somebody, but we have feelings that can't be kept too long. spend some time to degrade yourself in front of Allah like you mean it, then make your way to somebody you hate and love him/her at the very instance. even i found it hard and still does just to say sorry to the closest of the brothers with deep regret for what i've done.

perhaps it has been for the way we were brought up. not to bow to others nor to look up at others too much that we misinterpret the message. till a moment soon enough, insyaAllah we'll get to the point of openness when it comes to the appropriate emotional problems. don't take this lightly as this has been a sickening virus among most brothers, may it be here, or anywhere else. not just the brothers, it has always been a problem for people of any religion or races or whatever.

just a short thinking that came to me this evening. been watching somebody. wondering what's in 'its' mind. maybe not to read so much, just to browse a bit and try to understand people. it's just beautiful to get to know someone, 'cause you tend to tackle that part of that someone to win that someone's heart. the art of winning people. art for du'ah.

What is happening in occupied Palestine against the oppressed Palestinian people is a disgrace for all humanity. All governments, peoples and those who approved or did not denounce or move to help the oppressed and deter the oppressor should be held responsible for this disgrace. - Mohammad M. Akef -

i'm being watched. i'm being watched. i'm being watched for supporting this guy.

bloop bloop...i think i'm paranoid with this blogwatch-whatever stuff...bloop bloop

So what? Salam Pax wrote a thousand stuffs and he[or is it an 'it'] still does.

Yeah, cause he's part of the conspiracy, and you're not.

What ever. I'm the propaganda that the conspirator been talking about.

Dude, I ain't joking. You're screwed.

Bla..bla...bla..You're stuck with them, that's the conspiracy been all about. To get all the people with this paranoia. Fear this and that, this guy and that guy, this group of people and that group of people. In the end, you're doing nothing. At least I'm trying.

Don't buzz me if you're caught dude. Never.

-sorry, this is myself speaking to myself after my first paper-

add some words to yourself

cognoscenti : people who have a more extensive and refined understanding of some area

palindrome : a word or phrase that reads the same backward as forward

transcendent : that which is beyond our senses and experience. Existing apart from matter.
Pertaining to God as exalted above the universe

immanent : of a mental act performed entirely within the mind, of qualities that are spread throughout something

andrewooi : the one lecturer or teacher someone would glad to have near exam ... [Comp Mech mode]

Listen to Me.

Everyday I woke up and to realise,
that yesterday is coming again today.
Every smile that I saw the other day,
will come the same as it is today.
You view yourself as someone perfect
in your most shiniest mirror of your villa,
and I look to myself in the mirror
of blood and stain, still as someone who needs
to strive and liberate my land.
Smile while you can to the people of yours,
so you may win them and story about me
I will here throw stones and of what I can hold.


Your evening spent are less worthy than mine,
to walk across the field and by the sea,
to smile and forget of souls that cry with me.
I start from noon to get some bread,
and never to be sure if the shop still stand
or will my leg still here or torn apart.
You dodge the mud, I dodge this pool
and step on stones so not to soak in blood
of whom I might know or not.
Never shall I cry to have this in my day,
and never should you forget of what I have said.

...save the Palestinian. Start today...