Just called my parents. It felt really nice that you take the effort to keep in touch with your parents. It feels so relaxing, though not as relaxing as when you drop your tears in your prayers and your du'a. It makes you feel humble when you take the chance of your time to hear their voices and to get to know what they are going through at the moment. Glad to hear that my parents are still fine, everybody at home is in the pink of health. Wonderful. It sorts of eradicate the worriness and uneasiness(though I don't know why is it so) from you. One thing I know for sure, laughter is never the best medicine. It only shows you the gate to your own stupidity and weaknesses.
Something I'd like to share about is the feeling of gratitude and thankfulness that you express to your loved ones(I mean the allowable loved ones) in any way possible is very crucial and it builds up a better bond. Just like the hadith in Riyadhus Solihin where our Prophet Salallahualaihiwassalam told a sahabah to say, or express his love for a brother in words, not just with his heart and actions toward that loved brother. Can you find me a religion or an ideology that teaches how to show your love and care towards someone so specific like Islam? And I wonder why so many of the muslims are not seeing the beauty of islam and yet kept giving appraisals to the western ideas and thoughts which began from the advancements of islam? Well, that's part of life.
Back to the point I'm trying to address, it's embarrassing to see a son or a daughter pretending to be matured with their parents by not wanting to be kissed or hugged. I just couldn't find a better and rational answer to this behaviour other than egoism. Daughters and sons tend to avoid from being seen by their friends when they are departing from their parents. Well, one thing I can say, wait till they are gone, then you'll regret what you did. I'm saying this cause I've been through those excruciating moments when you are about to lose your loved ones. It hurts, like piercing a needle into your eyes or stabbing your chest with a rusted and crooked knife over and over again. You would feel the numbness that people kept singing and mentioning in their poems, and as far as I've been through, it was speechless. All the melancholies that I fantasised about in my mind before was far lesser than the true feeling of it. The sadness would haunt you for days, and you would search for rather ridiculous methods of abolishing that feeling if you're alone. You would be filled with tears and memories that would be great to think about when you're far away from that person, but a distress one when the person is absolutely out of reality, out of current existence. It would kill if you're alone. It would bend you and break you if you have no others supporting you. You can go astray if you don't have such a strong need towards rehabilitation of life and to keep on track. But I've been there, done that and I'm glad that I'm still here writing this piece of admonish.
Take a day of your life, or maybe an hour of your day, feel grateful for having a loving and caring father and mother. Give them a call, for the sake of your love to them, do it! I recommned that you say these words "I love you mom, tell dad I miss him and love him too", then hang up. Call back the next week and say it again with all your heart(Honestly, just saying it would be more than enough, no need to hang up. Just to make it more dramatic :-)). But I admit that it *is* hard to say it. Maybe its because of the norm that we're built upon. It invokes on us more towards love between seperate gender and of the same age range. In other words, for g*#%f$&%*d or b*^f$#@(d(Sorry, too slimy to be mentioned in my diary =D). Well, it might be just another decent act of yours towards deserving people but personally I find it despicable. You can't utter your love words to your parents, but you spit them out like a spraying firehose towards those people you pretend to be your soulmate. Gerrrgghhhh!!! I feel like pumping a massive German's blimp till it blows up! You can't even afford to pay your own insurance, yet you have the heart to love someone and pretend that you're a grown up? Beat it!
Well, before I got worse, I better stop. But, think back of what I've mentioned. You wouldn't want to lose your parents before you die. Trust me. If you ask me(though I know I can't change what had happened to me and that what had been can never be better), I would prefer to die first before my parents do. But I prefer most for what Allah has set for me. Those memories would come back time over time, but it helps me grow; a lot. It stimulates me to be strong, but nobody can blame me for being sensitive and sensible. Well, tears are not meant to kill yourself, but to extinguish your melancholies. What's wrong with that? (=D, trying to defend myself here).
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